Often Misplaced, but The Anger is Real, PT 1

I’ve been asked by a couple of my Caucasian friends and while living in Africa a few of my African friends and other Blacks there from the Diaspora: “Why are African Americans so angry”? Huh, what!? The question took me aback and by surprise by all who asked me. Why me? Who declared me the spokesperson for my people? Who said we were an angry people? Since I’m African American did they see me as an angry person? Am I angry? Geez!

I thought about that question then and even more so as of late. I believe that now I have more insight into my answer. When one of my Caucasian friends asked me a few years ago I was kind of insulted. He wanted to know why African Americans were killing each other. Why was there so much violence in predominantly African American neighborhoods? I told him there were a myriad of reasons, but that I didn’t understand it myself. If this friend was still alive and asked me that same question today, I would be ready to fill in the gaps that were missing in my answer before. Why? Because lately I’ve felt the anger and the hurt. It reminds me of a Bob Marley line, “Who feels it knows it LORD”. Well I feel it, but my acts because of those feelings are constructive and not destructive. Thank GOD I have the coping skills, wisdom, faith and wherewithal to handle the anger and hurt.

Many of our young people, especially the young men don't have that wherewithal. They have not had the chance, the opportunity to experience so called, “home training” to develop the traits needed to deal with what life is hurdling at them. Many are born into stressful environments, and I’m talking about what’s inside the home first before they even encounter the stress of their communities and the world. It’s not their fault what their born into, but it begins to dictate their lives. Domestic violence inside many homes that they witness daily, drug issues with one or both parents, single parents that must spend more time at work than home, young uneducated parents that didn’t have a chance themselves to mature and be educated, and dependence on government systems. Too many have yet to learn that dependence means you’re not independent and that keeps you enslaved mentally and physically on what and who you’re dependent on. Once a person sees themselves as the dependent, then they can blame those that who they depend on. This helps in finger pointing and avoiding responsibility.   

And that’s just inside the home. So, if it’s in the home, where do you take that anger? Who do you trust enough to speak to the anger? Enter peers, gangs, clubs and the like that get where that person is coming from. Ahem, by the way this applies to all people.

Now let’s look at the assault that comes from outside the home environment. The media can be informative, but for a mind and emotions that have not fully developed the media is a dangerous ally. Poor education zoning and supplies, videos, movies, and music that promote and glorify killing. How you are perceived by many as a threat or a bad person because you’re Black. No matter what your lifestyle, educational background, financial status or high falutin neighborhood you’re still seen as Black. When you are driving, when you’re walking, and just going on about your business you can be stopped by the police and these days a few crazed people because for no other reason than that you are Black.

This is stressful y’all! And these things only scratch the surface off of the scab.

The injustices that are so clearly seen almost daily in our communities, the news, the justice system itself makes you cringe. You feel it in your gut. Deep in your gut like someone punched you so hard it makes you grab your stomach and double over. It’s an assault on your senses. You can’t hide from it or look away, because it can be you next or your family or friend. Why, because you're Black in American and many other parts of the world. 

When you carry all that stress and anger if you don’t have coping skills you explode outwardly and inwardly. To ease psychological pain many self -mutilate. Killing your brother or sister is self-mutilation and destroying yourself. This anger, this hurt is way past wanting to break something or hit a wall. It hurts so much that we are hurting each other. It causes destruction of our families and communities.

This is so sad. It hurts to the very core y’all.

So those who become afraid of our own, those that don’t try to understand what’s going on with all this violence begin to villainize many of our young men. Treating them so coldly or like they're invisible, and in turn they will do whatever to be seen. Or is it the reason so many wear the black hoodie, to be invisible? And maybe if so that indivisibility makes them feel safe.

IJS

Part 2 will explain in my opinion the anger in African Americans that Africans don’t understand.

This May Be You!

Sometimes life can choke your creativity, even cause you to loose your voice. Other times it makes you want to shout so the whole world can hear your screams. Well I've been quiet for too long and I have a few things to say.

The Hate You Carry

You ought to put it down, the hate you carry. It’s heavy, it’s weighing you down the hate you carry.But it seems no matter how heavy it is you can’t put it down because it has become a part of you. To put it down would be for you like cutting off your own arm or leg, plucking out your eye. It’s under your skin and embedded in your brain, your very being. It’s reinforced, validated and told to you that is right by those you trust look up to or look to and respect or you are told to trust and respect.

The hate you carry is so heavy that it has caused a shadow to come over you like a veil.  That veil too is heavy hanging like a coat of mail (a jacket covered with or composed of metal rings or plates used for armor) all around you. Just the thought of lifting that weighty veil to see what’s on the other side is so frightening that you keep your distance from It, so you’re not even tempted to peek out from any side. It’s infectious the hate you carry because you transfer it to your children, family, friends and you even spew it out angrily like an erupting volcano to strangers, you live it.

What’s worse than that is when you choose to hate even though you were taught to love. Something happened that triggered that hate you carry, that weight you picked up. Maybe it was for something that happened in your life that you feel gave you this reason to hate. Was it some form of disrespect, a broken heart, a disparity or a lost opportunity of some kind? Did you allow an event or two in your life to forever poison you?

It can come on easily and hastily in some cases with one bad experience that hate. The hate you carry festers, grows into a monster living inside of you that breathes out a foul fire that not only consumes others, but has consumed you.

It’s not natural, the hate you carry. It was taught to you and those that taught it to you, well they’re carrying the same thing you are and maybe even a little heavier. It’s in school books, the media, some churches, associations and homes the hate you carry. No child is born with it in their heart or mind, it’s taught. When a baby is hungry it does not matter what ethnicity, race, religion or economic class the woman is that nurses it.  A breast is a breast. As a matter of fact, when in need neither does their mother.

The hate you carry is so heavy that you allow it to weigh you down, so far down you’ll let it kill you, take you to the grave instead of putting it down, or at least aside to live. Well maybe to live you may put it aside.  For a blood transfusion or transplant a few may put it aside, but some would choose to die clutching that hate. Many innocent people have died because of the hate you carry, you have condoned murder and even taken part in it either by commission or omission.

It’s like a willful blindness the hate you carry. It doesn’t allow you to see the truth, even If that truth is to your benefit. It doesn’t allow you to see the hurt or suffering it causes others when you hate like that. That blindness covers your eyes so that you can’t see the innocent or innocence. In fact, it has robbed you of your own innocence, your purity. For to be innocent means to be, “lack of guile or corruption”.

It’s not good for you or anyone else the hate you carry. It causes you undue stress which leads to a myriad of diseases and other health challenges. I bet you’ve even lost sleep because of it because you went to bed with vile thoughts.  You can’t enjoy life fully because of the hate you carry because it doesn’t allow you to embrace the full beauty of this world because your hate shades your views. You’re trapped by that hate. You can’t even be the best you could possibly be because you can’t grow. Once you’ve decided not to admit your wrongs or mistakes you’ve stunted your own growth, limited your own vision and choices. But I bet you blame others for that, point your finger at certain groups claiming it’s their fault when in fact it’s you in your own way.

Well I’m sorry for you. You are living a sad existence because you have decided to deny so much of what is good. I don’t hate you, in fact I love you, but I may dislike you because of your ways. It’s not entirely your fault, it’s what you’ve been taught or decided to pick up, but you have a chance to do better, live better and teach others better. I imagine that to change or to try and break free of that hate you carry is frightening since you will have to deny yourself, family and friends, education and this system we live in to rebuild yourself.

You can’t experience the fullness of love because of the hate you carry, so you can’t be embraced, can’t be fully loved because of your coat of mail.

If you let love of all be the root of who you are and what you do, I promise you the world will be a different place and a joy that you’ve never experienced will find its way into your heart.

It’s heavy, put it down, you’ve carried it too long, that hate you carry. Relax! Don’t get angry with me because I’m pointing all this out to you. You don’t know me or most of the people you hate. I have not pointed my finger at any one person, group, race, religion, gender or any social or economic group. In fact, if reading this causes you to be angry at me for this article then you’ve identified yourself.

If you have breath in your body you have the ability to change, to lay down the burden, to peel it off, shed the hate you carry and choose to love. I didn’t say like everybody, agree with everything, but love despite any one’s view, flaws, differences. You have a chance to be a leader of yourself and others.

The choice is yours and one thing is for sure, love or hate you will be held accountable for it as we all will one day.

Peace and blessings

Been there, done that!

 

Well here we are again by GOD’s will and power. Peace and blessings to each and every one of you and may that same peace rest upon your homes and families. I do believe that is one of two things we can agree that we need more of in the world today, peace. Number one is love and if there was more love I do believe peace would abound.

 So, right now as you read this and I’ll do it as I’m writing let us join together where ever you are and whatever you might be doing and just for thirty seconds pray for love and peace for all………………………… Amen!

I must say that these past two weeks have been so much better for me because I’ve been in less pain from my fall over a year ago. Phew, it’s been a long haul, but thanks be to GOD for bringing me through. I’ve been out and about more lately since moving isn’t as big a chore as it had had been these past few months. So while being out and more in the know what I see and hear are familiar acquaintances doing the same things they were doing twenty years ago or better. Huh, what?! Yep, same move and groove.

Now I’m not judging anyone but, wow. I’m far from perfect and I know it! Since I know it I’m open to avenues of growth. I try to listen more and talk less, trust me that’s not easy! But like the old saying goes, “You have two ears and one mouth”. It used to be a time I didn’t really care what others thought of me, but that was a long time ago and yes I’ve grown. In my maturity I want to be a positive influence, an inspiration to others so I do care what others think. You cannot make an impact if people are not willing to listen to you. That’s why I don’t get replaying the past like a worn out cassette tape.

We are never too old or educated to learn and grow. Evolution is part of our very existence! It’s proven that things change and rarely begin and end the same. A baby doesn’t stay a baby; a caterpillar turns into a butterfly and a flower blooms from a bud. Things change and as people so should we, for the better that is. I've not only changed my talk, but also my walk and who I walk with.

Let each of us take a look at ourselves on a regular basis and check ourselves inside and out. Let us be able to put ourselves in check as need be before someone else or GOD checks us. Let’s learn to listen to constructive criticism spoken in love, because those that care about you may be able to see something you can’t. Let us admit our mistakes, understand our weaknesses and take responsibility for our choices and actions. Forgive yourself and others. Don’t be afraid of and to change, often times it’s for the better. Let old wounds close, stop picking at old scars creating new scabs and allow yourself to heal from past hurts, disappointments and failures.

Let us not keep reliving and living in the past and look forward to and embrace our future!         

"The future is so bright I have to wear shades"

Putting money in your pocket!

Peace and blessings to one and all.

We are to walk in love and be a blessing to one another. Many people say why does GOD do this or doesn’t do that. Well GOD gave mankind dominion and many of those things we’re waiting on or wondering why it hasn’t been done is because it’s up to us. HE put us here for each other.

We all have something to share with each other so this week I’m sharing some valuable information that can save you some money and in some cases put money in your pocket.

The first two pieces of information concern the cost of healthcare whether you have or don’t have health insurance:

• HELP WITH MEDICATION COST: Most major pharmaceutical companies have programs where they will give you prescribed medications free or at a discounted price, especially if there is no generic form available. Contact the pharmaceutical company that manufactures the medication and they will you send you out a form to complete to qualify for this option. They may even send you free samples with the doctor's prescription and make sure you ask your doctor for free samples.
• HOSPITAL CHARITY CARE: Most hospitals if not all have charity care. These are funds set aside for those in need. Even if you have insurance and are at a certain income level you can apply for charity care at your hospital once you’ve acquired a bill that you cannot pay. Call the accounting department of the hospital you are indebted to and ask them if it is available and the hospital will send you a form to complete to see if you are eligible.  If you qualify you could end up with zero balance or a reduce amount.

Now this next section has information that concerns housing. The links I’m using are for Illinois, but you can use these links to research similar links and programs in your area.

• These two links puts many back in your pocket when you buy or use energy efficient appliances and accessories.

https://www.comed.com/home-savings/rebates/Pages/default.aspx
http://www.peoplesgasdelivery.com/home/rebates.aspx

• These next two links are for assistance with paying energy bills if you qualify.

https://www.comed.com/customer-service/assistance-programs/Pages/default.aspx
http://www.peoplesgasdelivery.com/home/assistance.aspx

• This last link is for those in the market to purchase a home. Trust me, there are grants out there to help with your down payment and in some cases pay the entire amount. These grants are available through state and federal government, and in some cases you may qualify for both.

http://www.ihda.org/homeowner/gettingLoan.htm

GOD bless you!

 

Glossophobia, I've got it!

Peace and blessings from Above be yours! So wonderful of you to continue on this journey with me and if you’re a new comer, welcome. I pray that your week was even been more than you expected it to be. I pray that you felt blessed and was a blessing to others. I pray that whatever the circumstances of your week you remained thankful, even if you found yourself in the midst of lack. None of us want to lack anything, but I’ve learned that’s when I grow the most in my faith and wisdom. Thankfulness multiplies itself, just as misery loves company. If we’re thankful for a crumb soon, we find ourselves enjoying a full slice and look forward to the loaf.

Last week I wrote about the important question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Well this post is going in the other direction. I’m going to write about what I said I wouldn’t do when I grew up. Not what I didn’t want to do, but what I said I wouldn’t do. Now that’s pretty brazen for an adult to say and as a child I said it with great defiance.

One thing I said I wouldn’t do was type, LOL, LOL, LOL. How ridiculous to think of that now. If I had stuck to that I would not be communicating with you and so many others now. Something else I said as a child is that I would never do was be was a teacher. It looked difficult then as well as now. I also said that I would not drop out of high school, but did after my freshman year due to a myriad of circumstances. I can go on, but I also said I would not do public speaking.

You see I have mild to moderate Glossophobia. Glossophobia or speech anxiety is the fear of public speaking or of speaking in general. The word glossophobia comes from the Greek glōssa, meaning tongue, and phobos, fear or dread. I’m not alone, over 70% of the population have it, with women having a slight edge over men. Just thinking about it makes my heart race! I get afraid of tripping over my words, stuttering and just being at a loss of what to say. Then it gets personal; suppose they don’t like me or understand what I’m trying to say. Uh, uh, in my mind that’s not for me. Moses of the Bible was like that, he ask GOD to send someone else because he felt slow of speech, so GOD sent Aaron (Moses brother) along with him to be his mouth piece and if you’ve read the Bible you know how that turned out.

So many of those things I said I wouldn’t do with defiance I’ve found myself doing, some of them willingly. Well I’ve realized that GOD has something for me to say and not just to family and friends in comfortable settings, but in unfamiliar territory with strangers. Geez! I’m sweating now just thinking about it. Not only do I have one, but I’ll be speaking on three occasions this month unless GOD decides differently. On two of these occasions I’ll be encouraging others and in doing so I’ll have to testify, expose my struggles. Talking about the struggles is no big deal, especially after publishing my book online, http://www.amazon.com/Never-A-Mile-From-Home-ebook/dp/B00K5CCAJW. It’s the act of standing in front of strangers talking about whatever.

My Mother once told me to never say never because you don’t know where life will take you or what situation you may find yourself in. Those where pearls of wisdom she gave to me and I’m passing them on to you. Don’t worry about your qualifications, because if GOD has called you to do something HE will qualify you.

Glossophobia

 

 

     

The Question!

Here we are again! Peace and blessings to you, your homes and families. I hope you are basking in GOD’s love for you and living in gratitude no matter the situation. Now I know for many that may be easier said than done, but when you have overcome as many adversities as I have you learn to be grateful and hopeful no matter what. I hope your week has been pleasant and that you’ve had a chance to be a blessing to someone else.

Last week in my post, “You’re the Hero” I touched on the power of women. I want to talk about that a little more, but we’re not going to stay on that point. When I was teen/pre-teen I said to myself that one day I would have an organization to help girls and women. I said it because I was going through so much alone and I knew that if I was feeling that way, it had to be other girls in the same situation. There’s always, always someone around to tell you the wrong thing or lead you astray, but very few to offer loving constructive criticisms. The same thing applies for adult females. Many so called girlfriends fail to give positive corrective, even directive information to each other. Many choose to just give a nod or high five and tell the other party what they want to hear. I don’t want any girlfriends or acquaintances like that. If my clothes, behavior, or relationships are out of order I want the kind of women around me that can be the neck in our friendship and help me see me.

So I guess that brings me to our point of thought this week, motivation and inspiration. So often, too often individuals and groups of people are looking to be lead. What’s so troubling is that many of those looking for a leader don’t have a destination in mind, they just want to be lead away from where they’re at or a situation they may be living in. If you must choose a leader you better make sure you understand their game plan and destination or else you can end up drinking from a cup that can be the death of you spiritually, mentally and even physically.

One of the most important questions that was ever asked of me was when I was less than seven years old. I was asked: “What do you want to be when you grow up”? Wow! That’s a big question for a kid, but it opened my mind to wonder and ponder that question. I probably gave a childlike answer like princess, ballerina or cowgirl, but I seriously began to wonder and pandered that question. What a motivating and inspiring question. I remember when I asked my children the same question and the amazement in their eyes as they began to wonder themselves.

That’s where it all starts, motivation and inspiration that is. A simple question. I find that many parents don’t ask their children that question, probably because nobody asked them. It’s never too late though to ask someone that question, it could change their life. Once we grasp the power that we possess we all will begin to realize and recognize we are all leaders, some great some small, but a leader none the less.   

It’s our words and deeds that can and will move mountains! We can move them for ourselves and others by being encouraging and motivating. We should strive to inspire others in a loving and positive way. Stop the back biting, gossiping and pulling another down. Learn to be humble and not always right. And for the sake of the innocent please stop the violence! All this negative energy is messing with the atmosphere. Probably at the root of climate change!

Be a light or beacon to someone. Change your attitude and walk in love and you’ll see that love come back to you. IJS   

Do it with Love!

 

You're the Hero!

Hey there, peace and blessings to one and all. I pray that you are safe, hopeful and spreading GOD’s love as well as receiving it! Thank GOD I was able to move into a smaller brace today on my right ankle, downsizing from the DME Boot I’ve been wearing for the past 4 weeks. Whoohoo!

In the last two postings to my blog I explained my why I had not posted since last October and I hope you understand and accept my sincere apology for the inconsistent post. Prayerfully now I can get back on track with filling you in on this journey.

In fact it seems like so much in my life slowed down, almost stopped during this process of healing. When just about every step you take is painful you tend to move only when necessary and that’s a downer. My motivation and creativity seemed to hide on a shelf that was very difficult for me to reach, even on my tippy toes. Don’t worry, I didn’t get hooked on pain pills, even though they are readily available. To me they only dull your brain and not the pain.
Moving forward, and remember that’s what we always want to do. No going back!

In the post that proceeded my hiatus, “It’s in Your Power” I talked about your power in GOD to see beyond your situation and the power of your credit score! But today we going to take it in a different direction. Believe me if you don’t know your power, give it away or are unable to control it, well then you are a slave to whatever and whoever. You’ll find yourself blaming others, situations and things for you mistakes or lack. Many of us are giving our power away freely these days as if it’s nothing important. Today I want to talk about the power of the neck, woman.

Woman, the neck that turns the head! There’s another expression, “Behind every great man there’s a great woman”! When women talk men listen, that’s it in the nutshell. Look what happened to Adam, Samson, and even Solomon, supposedly the wisest man. They all listened to women and it changed the course of history, our very lives. Now we can debate this if you’d like, but this is my opinion with truth and facts woven into its being.

I’m going to tell you now my female readers this may hurt, in many cases the truth does.  While assessing what’s going on in society today I see where we as women have dropped the ball. Yep, I said it and will stand by it. Especially when I look at how so many so called men behave these days. As a community and individually we complain about the males with their pants hanging down, men not working while sitting at home playing video games and so forth and so on. We also complain how men view women as objects and how disrespectful some can be. Yet so many women accepted the term “baby’s momma”, while being demoted from the mother of my child. Now which one has a more significant sound, baby mama or the mother of my child? When I first heard the expression I just knew it would be a fly by night saying and yet here in 2015 it’s become a mainstream term.

Ladies, we’ve got to tighten up! If we didn’t allow our sons to wear their pants down or bring men into our homes with their pants down trust me they’d pull them up. In my thinking, if you require more you’ll get more, but it seems these days so many females are playing limbo, how low can you go. Not I’m far from perfect and have made some mistakes, but like I said earlier we should always move forward and not backward.

Even when I did dirt I didn’t do it in front of my kids when they were around. I didn’t want them to pick up my unfruitful ways so I’d put my best foot forward. Now nothings hidden, the cursing, frequently changing partners, just any form of vulgarity is done in front of and to children, and yet we expect them excel. That’s like telling someone to drive the car while their sitting on a tricycle.

I’m not looking down on anyone because I know it can be rough, but we’re the only ones that can smooth out the roughness. No one is coming to the rescue. It’s not “their” problem and nobody can fix us as individuals but GOD and we ourselves. If we want change it’s us ladies that have to bring it about.  We’ve got to learn to close our legs and open my minds. Close our doors to drama and pick up a helpful book. Raise our children instead of raising hell. Accept and acknowledge this is on us, pull up the big girls panties and nurture ourselves, families and communities.  

Are you a Superwoman?