Hope your
weekend was pleasant and if not at least bearable! Yes, for some if not many,
some days seem to be and some days are just bearable. You know those days that
you want to say in that Florida Evans voice, “damn, damn, damn! If you don't know who Florida Evans is you can google her, better still look for it on youtube. I know those
kind of days and now I do my best to stop hopefully before I get out the 2nd
damn and start to let the WORD do ITS work. It’s a work in progress!
Well get
cozy, sit up straight or whatever position you like to read in and check this
out……….
I’m still
reflecting if you recall from the previous post, “Victoria’s Proverbs”. I had
plenty of time to reflect in September of 2007 and months to come since I was
almost bedridden. Something I had
been through many years prior had prepared me to this semi confined state I felt
like I was in. Oh my goodness, be so thankful for your mobility, the use of
your limbs! It hurt to move and it hurt when I lay down! I’d rather have a
baby! Natural childbirth was a scratch compared to that pain. Yuk!
Didn’t
matter though about the pain; I had to arrange my Mother’s Memorial in Kentucky.
I decided to have it the nursing home were my great uncle was residing. He was
nearing 100 years old and had fallen a couple of years back and broke his neck.
His mind was still sharp as a tack. I had visited him a few years before and he
pulled me close to him and said, “Write it down, you’ve seen more than many
people will see, write it down”. Uncle Walter! He was the son of my great
grandmother and she lived long enough to see my children!
Oops, I got
off track, sorry! Well I organized the Memorial there because my spirit let me
know that my uncle would not be around that much longer and he was the
patriarch of our family. Since he could not physically make it to any venue, I
took it to him. We have a small family and I knew they had facilities that
would accommodate us, plus everyone at the home loved Uncle Walter. He passed a couple of months later. So I had to
travel back and forth to Kentucky dragging my painful leg, but hey; the show
must go on and so it did!
Anyway getting back to Chicago after the Memorial was time to wait, ease my stress and
let GOD do the work. Can’t say I was peaceful during that time because there
was a lot of family drama going on. But I knew that I was going to be okay,
them I wasn’t sure. I kept it and still do keep them in prayer.
I had been
through it! Africa had savoured me as it chewed me up, and I was good! So good
that it just held me in her mouth sucking my juices while feeding me! OK, you’ve
been warned before that the longer I’m here the more proverbs I speak in. it’s
not intentional, it just flows from me. I was drained! My faith, character,
body, spirit, heart, all of me was going through the fire. I couldn’t walk, had
lost my mother, lost all my money, but I didn’t feel lost! Geez! I was full! I felt
victorious and began to understand and feel why my Father had named me Victoria!
I may not
always land on my feet, but I land! As long as I can roll over and scramble to
my feet I’m going to get up! There’s no choice, GOD didn’t make me to stay down!
I reflected on all that I had lost and all that I had gained. Freedom! Purpose!
Increase in faith! These three things filled me! I felt free to be me and
explore the possibilities of me. I didn’t have a chance to do that any more
when I was in the states. The daily grind had taken over and my creativity was
smothered.
I began to
realize that I might be afraid to go back because of everything that I had
experienced and remembered that no matter what I’d been through I was prepared because
GOD qualified me. All my yesterdays had me ready for the days. I prayed about
it since I knew it was up to GOD anyway. Sometimes though I wonder if I’m listening
to GOD or what my subconscious is saying to me. GOD grant me discernment!
So now the
question was once I had recovered and I had no doubt I wouldn’t; was I going to
go back to Africa?