Monday 7 January 2013

Pain Medicine!

It’s been a couple of weeks since we revisited some events of 2007. I hope you remember and are keeping up with me. If you don’t I suggest you go back a few post so you’ll be able to continue on this journey with me and understand better where I’m coming from and talking about.

Let's lace our shoes and get to walking......... 

I was still in awe of how GOD’s blessing! I was finally able to get back to the states. Chicago to be exact! I was in so much pain and was glad to be in airports in Brussels, New York and Chicago that had wheelchairs because I had been putting so much weight on my cane that I thought it was going to break. I was popping Ibuprofen and Diclofenac like I was eating corn candy and peanuts I was in so much pain, but none of that mattered. I was coming home!

It is quite true home is where the heart is! No mater how much ancestral pull you may feel if you love, where you love is home. I’ve met many people here that do not want to even consider living in the states again. Most of these people are African Americans. I can not even begin to imagine leaving my family and my familiar without looking back or yearning to be with them, let alone close my eyes for the last time and not be surrounded by them.  My brothers and sisters here from other parts of the world from the African Diaspora seemed to be able to bend with the wind and don’t hold as much bitterness for the land of their birth. I’m telling you the residual affects and affects of the system in the states on the psyche of African Americans is devastating! There is a hurt and anger that lives some place deep inside so many of us that we do not share with others. I hope and pray living here for this time and my closer walk with GOD had healed me or at least been therapeutic.  

I did know what to expect when I got to Chicago. I had been more than two years. I’d lived on my own for so long and now I was going to stay with my daughter. I’d given up everything when I answered the call of my spirit to stay in Africa in 2004. All! Home, car, health insurance, all except my faith! I was focused; I had three things I needed to attend to. First was seeing my new grand baby that was 6 weeks old, my daughter’ daughter: 2nd was organizing a memorial for my Mother and 3rd was going to the doctor to see about my leg. 

The 1st thing on my agenda was easy because I’d be staying with my daughter so the baby was there with us and of course it was love at 1st sight, Grandma’s Puddie! People that knew me where feeling my pain and had never seen me weak or incapacitated before, I was always the picture of strength.  Their pain for my pain was palpable and made me feel so uncomfortable. I just wanted to assure them that I’d be okay, but it was hard to hide the kind of pain I was in. While trying the midst of trying to organize my Mother’s memorial my youngest Son told me to get ready because he was coming to take me to the hospital and that everything would have to wait.

When we got to the emergency room I don’t know what the hospital staff saw on my face, but they rushed me in and began pumping me full of pain meds. Geez, I was some place else. Not physically, but the drugs were taking me on mini trips as I did my best to answer the questions that the doctors, nurses, x-ray technicians, and other hospital workers were firing at me. My Son didn’t leave my side except when they took me for test and he was not allowed to go. I do remember that no matter how much medicine they gave me I still felt the pain. After hours of test, drugs, poking and prodding it was decided, I needed surgery if I wanted to stop the pain or walk again! Huh, what!? Geez!!!!!!!


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