Acceptance!

We all want it, yes we do! Even if you call yourself a loner you still want it from someone, something or some place. Often times it‘s defensive posturing for people that say they don’t care about what other people think or say about them. It’s natural and inherent to desire acceptance because we were not created to be solitary creatures, but we most definitely should not be leading our lives to another’s pattern or dancing to anyone else’s music!

I’ve had points in my life that I went along to get along and each time I did I wound up in some situations that have literally threatened my life. So I’ve learned, not that I always make the right decision to listen to that inner voice, my spirit! I can say I don’t care what others think and that’s true for the most part, but I still like acceptance. I speak my mind and that may cost me not to be the favorite person in the crowd, but at least I’m at peace with me and not choking on what I wanted to let out.

Since living here in Gambia I’ve encountered something to do with acceptance that I don’t quite understand. Maybe if you, my readers do you can help me with it, get some clarity or insight into what I’m about to write.

I’ve met women here from the African Diaspora from different countries and different walks of life that seek a kind of acceptance from the people here that causes them to behave in ways I just don’t get.  It’s no mystery that African Women are hard workers; fetching water from wells, rivers or wherever: carrying heavy loads on their shoulders and backs, being less than second class citizens to their men to the point of accepting abusive behavior, washing clothes with their bare hands and so forth and so on. You get the picture I’m sure. Not to say that this applies to all African Women, but I do believe it’s a majority. Well anyway I’ve met some sistahs here that feel that they have to carry that same burden. Huh, what?! They feel as though that they have to become like the women that they are surrounded by to be accepted or measure up. Almost like paying some kind of penitence.   They fetch water from wells, go to work in rice fields, want to carry heavy loads and so on. I don’t get it! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m a city girl! I only want and expect to be accepted for who and what I am! 

Living here teaches you that you are not the same no matter how Black you are. While I see many people here that remind me of my family and friends in the states it‘s obvious to them that I’m different, not “African”. Now don’t get me wrong, some people here that know me call me “Mama Africa”, “Soul Sistah” and “African Woman”, that’s because they have recognized who I am as a person. Because you see more Black Foreigners from the UK than the states here they think that I’m a Jamaican by way of the UK and that’s because of my locks. Until I begin to speak. So before they can see my blackness they see me as a foreigner. In fact, though I am a foreigner I’m more African that some people I meet that are born here!  Now that’s deep! Yeah, not everybody has “Black Pride” or is proud to be Black. Just because you’re African doesn’t make it so. 

I was very proud and more than happy when I received my Gambian Citizenship last year from the president. That to me was a great acceptance. Something that had been stolen from my ancestors so long ago, but it do not change who I am or where I am from!

Acceptance starts with the person in the mirror! You have to be happy with you, accept yourself, love yourself and be true to you. That fit in where you get in mindset sucks! That’s like loving the one you’re with! Huh, what?!